May The Focus Be With You

“The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus.”

– Bruce Lee

I am besieged by distractions. A few are wonderful for a brief time, but most do not serve my higher self nor my purpose. This will not change no matter how much of myself I commit to these distractions or for how long. I might find that I am suddenly fascinated by a new language and given my competitive nature, I will spend weeks chasing the top score. I fancy the sound of an acoustic guitar and now I spend hours and every free minute researching the best brands of guitar and local teachers whilst imagining myself strumming on a warm sunny morning by the bay.

Meanwhile, time remains consistent and true and leaves me with my trivialities and to my own self-judgement. Then I find myself anxious and overwhelmed by life, which also continues. Desperately, I long for another yesterday and a second chance to start again. However, time is neutral and cannot give second chances. It continues and I must latch on to it wherever I currently am—if my will is strong enough and if I can focus my entire being to a thing.

I find that for myself, I most often open myself to distractions when progression gets tough. Focus allows me to drown out the self-doubt but a single puncture in the flow and it all pours in before I can recite my ‘why’. When I give too much notice to how my to-do list just keeps growing no matter how much I check off, I then allow myself to sit too long underneath the entitlement tree for the break I deserve. Before long, I forget how focusing continuously fuels me and with every step and milestone, how it motivates me.

It is not that learning a new language is so frivolous. It improves my memory and listening skills. Besides, I find the French language lovely. A new endeavor such as taking an art class or guitar lessons improves mental health, builds confidence and enhances quality of life. Combatting burnout with a much-needed break almost ensures that I will be able to focus more and accomplish more. Almost. For a break alone is just a browse and swipe session—distraction. However, a break with intentionality is still focus.

Every one of us is naturally gifted at something or passionate about it. The results of which, lifts us and contribute to our joy like nothing else will or can. If you are not sure what it is, pay attention. It may not be as apparent as professional writing, welding, or dancing. It could be subtle such as a soft skill like critical thinking, problem solving, teamwork, leadership, or a strong work ethic.

How do I invite focus and productivity into my daily life while extinguishing ubiquitous distraction? How do I maintain effective goals in the life I want to live?

1. I strongly believe in the purpose that I am on this planet to share. Therefore, I protect the time needed to nurture and develop it. I may lose interest in playing the guitar for some time but being a coach is always within me.

2. My values align with my purpose and my higher self. I use my values like fact checkers: “Does this align?” “How will this serve family, community, and my soul?” If it does not align than I am intentional about the amount of time I am going to dedicate to it.

3. My goals are specific and crystal clear. It is the difference between “I want to learn how to network." and “By Friday, I will set up a meeting with Joyce and ask if she is willing to mentor me. She has incredible communication skills."

4. My “Why” is powerful or meaningful to me. “By keeping my standing meetings with Joyce, I am learning skills and building confidence that will allow me to present to non-profit organizations and serve families in crisis.”

5. I have a deep understanding of what is impacted negatively when I betray my values. “When I cancel my time with Joyce or do not complete my assigned next steps, I let her down. I waste time that she could have planned for. I delay my professional development and learning and miss opportunities to launch.”

6. I yield to gratitude and share it when I reach important milestones and effectively meet goals. Before diving into the celebrations, I remember someone to thank. I call, text, email, or visit someone that supported me or helped me in a small or big way.

Fighting distraction is more than powering off the mobile or physically isolating. It begins within the mind. Change your inner conversations about what is important and why and with dogged persistence protect it. This is focus.

From my soul to yours, I bid you a happy May 4th and focus.

Dana van Ness, Certified Life Coach